One of my biggest issues this past weekend was eating healthfully while enjoying time with friends. I had planned healthy snacks for our Super Bowl party, but then forgot to put out the shrimp and stuffed myself with crackers and cheese dip (OMG was it good dip, though: Meijer brand asiago and artichoke, from the produce section).

So, first question, dear readers: How do you keep healthy food choices at the front of your mind?

My other biggest issue has been figuring out when to work out. I know the usual suggestions: (1) wake up a little earlier in the morning; (2) take a workout lunch break; and (3) work out after work. None of those is incredibly appealing to me right now. You see (1) I have a hard enough time dragging myself out of bed in time to shower and make myself look presentable; (2) there’s no freaking way I’m heading outside to work out in sub-zero windchill weather, nor do I want to practice calisthenics in my open-to-the-whole-world cubicle; and (3) and by the time I get home at night I have just enough time to do a couple of chores, eat dinner, and relax for a short time before I need to get ready for bed.

Luckily I’m going back to part-time at work now, so I’ll have a lot more time. I’m going to make working out part of my daily plan, and doing it right when I get out of work. I’m not sure what I’m going to do next fall though, when I go full-time again. Maybe by then it will be such a habit that I’ll be more willing to fit it in to a busier schedule? At the moment I have more confidence in my laziness than I do in coming to enjoy working out, although I know that there was a time when I did.

At any rate, second question: How do you fit fitness into a busy lifestyle?

Thank you in advance for your ever honest and always insightful responses! I’ll be back next week with some thoughts on self love, and hopefully a loss to report!

So here are all of January’s pictures. To see the whole picture, and a short description, click on the thumbnail!

There are some fears that I am fully aware of, such as my irrational fear of falling over, or my unnatural fear of the guy on the Quaker Oatmeal box (okay, maybe not fear, but you definitely shouldn’t trust that guy). Or even my sometimes-debilitating fear that my house will burn down and I’ll lose all of my books (seriously, I’ve looked into how much it would cost to construct a fireproof safe large enough to house my expanding library; it would not be cheap).

The fears that have kept me pondering, though, are the ones that I haven’t been so aware of. Recently I’ve begun to realize that the biggest thing holding me back from accomplishing much of anything has been fear (and procrastination, but we’ll deal with that another time). Specifically, I am talking about losing weight.

I’m afraid to lose weight.

I suppose I don’t mean that exactly… I’m afraid of what happens after I lose weight. You see, once upon a time I lost about 40 pounds. I was starting to like the way I looked, I was fitting into smaller clothes, I was way more active than I’ve probably been at any other time in my life. And then a bunch of stuff happened and I gained it all back. Plus 20 pounds more. I know, big news, right? I mean, this has obviously never happened to anyone else… ever.

I guess then, that it would be better to say I’m afraid there’s no point. What exactly is the point of losing a bunch of weight, and knowing how amazing and confident you feel, if you’re just going to gain it all back and feel even crappier than you did before you lost the weight in the first place?

Now, I’m not saying that I actually believe this. But I think that something deep down inside my crazy-insecure subconscious fears it, and it’s been leaking like the sewage pipes in our closet: just oozing puddles of doubt and used toilet water all over the basement of my weight loss efforts. The fact of the matter is, the plumber’s finally starting to work on the literal pipes, and I think it’s about time that I take a look at my figurative pipes.

The Patch

1. I’m properly medicated (not to mention diagnosed) for the first time in my life. Despite major upheavals over the past couple of months, I’ve felt relatively calm and able to carry on no matter what comes.
2. I’ve figured out a lot about myself since then. I’m a little wiser about handling stressful situations, or at least more experienced. Last time I was headed into completely unknown territory, and you know what? I survived.
3. I now have personal knowledge of the weight loss backslide. I haven’t just read about it, or been told about it; I’ve lived it. I can use that knowledge this time around. I can be proactive by reminding myself how horrible it felt to regain the weight.

It’s alright to be afraid. What really matters is what you do with that fear. This past week I took my fear and shoved it, along with 2.6 pounds, out the door. And if it tries to creep back in, I’m going to keep reminding myself of why I ousted it in the first place. I may willingly bring the Quaker guy into my home (only when the Meijer brand isn’t available), but weight loss fear?

No more!

Image from Free Vedic Astrology

Yesterday, on my way to work, I heard an interesting report on the radio that the zodiac had actually “changed”, including an addition of a “new” sign. I have to admit, I was a bit miffed, quite unsettled, and just a little intrigued.

I mean, I’m a scorpio… always have been always will be. Right?

Not according to this news report. According to that and other reports since, the zodiac has shifted. I’ve found several different incomplete explanations, and managed to piece together the following explanation: the Earth’s tilt has changed due to a wobbly axis, presumably caused by the moon’s gravitational pull on the Earth, and this has caused the constellation alignments to shift ever so slightly over the years. Oh yeah, and this has actually been going on for over 1,000 years.

The thing is, I also figured out that this isn’t really news. Astrologists have known about this for a long time. I wouldn’t even be able to comfortably say they were trying to hide it, since the information was very readily available for my Googling pleasure. Now, I would never claim to be an expert on any of this, but I would like to share what I found, understand, and think.

I was interested to find that there are actually two different zodiacs (actually, there are more, but we’re focusing on these two): the tropical zodiac, used by most Western astrologers; and the sidereal zodiac, recognized by some Eastern astrologers. These zodiac systems presumably began as one aligned system, but have drifted apart over the centuries.

Image from Circumsolatious

The tropical zodiac was originally fixed according to the vernal equinox, and corresponds to the seasonal calendar. This is the zodiac system Americans have known, loved, and sometimes scoffed at for years. Because the Gregorian calendar is a little shifty, what with leap years and such, the vernal equinox will eventually come just a little earlier than it currently does. Like in another 2000 years.

Image from Circumsolatious

The sidereal zodiac is fixed according to the positioning of distant stars. The dominant zodiac is determined by which constellation the sun is currently aligned with, and this is what shifts ever so slightly every century thanks to the moon’s gravitational pull, and the Earth’s tilt and wobbly axis. This is the system that has so suddenly been “discovered”.

So… am I a Libra? Or a Scorpio?

Let’s face it: astrology is really just human interpretation. Picking one zodiac system and saying it’s right feels way too much like picking a religion and saying it’s right. I just can’t do it, and I would never encourage anyone else to. I find that there are aspects of both Libra and Scorpio that describe me, so I’ll probably just start reading both horoscopes every month.

Up this month for Scorpio? Travel, financial opportunity, and opportunities for advancement at work. As a Libra I’m looking forward to a good month for getting my household in order, financial opportunity (maybe I should buy a lottery ticket??), and a good time to initiate new fitness and nutrition efforts. I’ve also been warned that stress may be an issue, and should take time to relax.

_______________________________________________________

While I would never submit such a list for an academic paper, the following links are the sources that I used in my preliminary research on this subject:

• Wikipedia Entry: Zodiac
• A history of Vedic Astrology from Free Vedic Astrology
• “Miscalculations of Post-Vedic Astrologers & Resetting the Balance & Measures of the World.” by Lori Tompkins
• Why did your zodiac sign change? by April Douglas
• Your zodiac sign may not be what you think
• Earth’s rotation causes new zodiac sign assignments by Greg
• Horoscope predictions from Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone

It wasn’t until two hours, a venti skinny skinny vanilla latte, and my first ever board meeting later that a thought occurred to me: it’s a new year.

I don’t have to just keep going, falling into the same trap over and over again. It doesn’t matter what happened last year. I don’t have to keep building on it, trying to repair something that that just. won’t. fix. I can start fresh, wipe the slate clean, strip down like a new-born baby, and start over. I started this process by resetting my weigh-in history at Weight Watchers Online. That was a little more than unnerving for me.

Here’s where I sound more than a little crazy…

You see, I’m the kind of person that likes to keep track of every little up and down. In fact, up until this point I have logged my weigh-ins twice each week: once with Weight Watchers, and once on a spreadsheet that I created for myself, which automatically calculates the amounts and percentages for how much I lost each week and overall. On that spreadsheet I highlight my goal dates, goal weights, and goal events. And I keep that spreadsheet open on my desktop at all times.

Better yet, I still have a similar spreadsheet saved indicating almost three years worth of prior weight loss efforts. My highest and lowest weights are color coded, the different programs that I tried are notated, and my gains are highlighted in red font.

I’m deleting both of those. From now on I only log my weight through Weight Watchers, and I only weigh myself on my weigh-in day (reflexively stepping on the scale every morning probably isn’t doing me any more good than obsessive weight tracking).

I began this year weighing 212 lbs, and by the end of this year I’m going to be done with the 200′s for ever.

The only way that’s going to happen is through a series of small, manageable steps. One of my primary January goals is to increase my activity level using workout DVD’s at home. I’m almost halfway through the month, and I haven’t done a damn thing about that. But the month obviously isn’t over, and anything would be an increase right now. So my health goals for this week are to:

• Work out 3 times and
• Keep track of my Weight Watchers Points, even if I go over on any given day or even for the week.

Next week on Weigh-In Wednesday: Why I’m afraid to lose weight.

… Thank you for contacting WeightWatchers.com. As per your request, we have cancelled your subscription with us and credited your account with a full refund. You will see this credit on your next credit card statement…

I’m not impressed with how long it took me to get it straightened out, but I am impressed that there is seemingly someone out there that actually cares enough. Or at least understands that I’ll continue spending my money on their service if I don’t feel like I’m being taken advantage of.

Either way, I am happy to say (really, very happy) that I will continue using Weight Watchers Online, and will most likely be doing another review of the new program in the next month or so.

Thank you, Weight Watchers, for coming through.

Over a month ago, I weighed in with my initial take on the new Weight Watchers Points Plus program. I had re-joined after a leave of absence due to financial issues, and was so excited to try the new program out. Better yet? The email that I clicked through to re-join said that my activation fee was going to be waived, plus I got a discount by paying for three months at a time.

Click-click-typity-type. Colin, get my credit card for me pleeeeeease? Type-typity-type. Submit.

It wasn’t until later that I realized that I had actually been charged a grand total of $65… which included my supposedly free activation fee. Confused, I logged into my account and found that it wasn’t activated. Um… wha?! It took me a few minutes to figure out what was going on: somehow I had re-joined under an old username that I hadn’t used in a long time.

Oh, well I’ll just shoot them an email… ask if there’s any way for me to have any of that fixed… if not, no biggy. I’ll wait out my three months and then switch over to the username I want to use.

So I wrote Customer Service this nice email:

Hello,

With the new program coming out, I decided to resubscribe to the online program through an email that I received. The email said that the enrollment fee would be waived when I signed up, but I’m pretty sure that I was still charged for it. Can I get it refunded? I chose the three-month plan if that makes any difference.

Also, I didn’t realize that the email I was responding to was linked to the user name that I used to use quite a while ago: waiting2b. I meant to resubscribe under my more recent username, alwaysaby. Is there any way that I can get my subscription changed over to the correct username?

Thank you so much for your help!

And I got this incredibly nice response:

Dear Abigail,

Thank you for contacting WeightWatchers.com.
According to our records you did not resubscribe to Weight Watchers® Online using the correct user name from your previous account therefore you were billed according to the terms of our subscription agreement for a new account.

To take advantage of the waiver of the sign up fee you must resubscribe with user name:

ALWAYSABY

Once you have resubscribed with the user name above please reply directly to this email and we will gladly cancel the new Weight Watchers Online account you established and issue you the appropriate refund.

Sincerely,
Hilary
Customer Service Associate

Incredibly excited, I signed up again, under the correct username, paying an additional $45.95, and responded to the email saying that I had created the new account, and was ready for the other one to be cancelled and refunded.

Three days later, I received a seemingly-automated email confirming my username (the old one), and providing me with a link to reset my password. Wait a minute…

So I sent another response asking why I was receiving those emails, and why my cancellation and refund hadn’t been confirmed. Two days later I received a response, stating that my account had been set up and billed appropriately.

NO. NO IT HASN’T.

I tried to be firm but polite with my response, explaining the entire situation again, and attaching the email that I had originally received. You know, the one that led me to sign up for a second account in the first place.

Two more days passed, and I received a response stating that they would be happy to cancel my account, but that the activation fee would not be refunded, nor would one month’s service fee.

I felt completely miss-led, and told them so in my response, but again requested that the extra account be cancelled.

Almost a month later I haven’t heard anything more from them, and my second account hasn’t been cancelled.

I sent one more email to Customer Service today, explaining the entire situation again, and asking why my account hasn’t been cancelled yet. We’ll see what comes of it, but I’m not entirely sure that I can recommend a product – no matter how good it is – if it’s Customer Service is so very lacking. I’m even less sure that I can recommend a service when it feels like they’re stealing my money.

Last night we rang in the New Year with the traditional bout of dancing, eating, drinking; and of course, a raucous ten-second countdown with champagne and kisses all around. It was fabulous, and fun spending time with friends that I haven’t seen in way too long. It’s nice to know that we’re pretty much guaranteed to all be together for New Year’s.

With 2011 very definitely here, I know that a lot of people are making resolutions. Over dinner a few days ago Mom asked us if we were making resolutions this year, and I wasn’t really sure how to answer yet. I’ve made plenty of resolutions in the past, and like the vast majority of the world, I hardly ever keep any of them. Last year I resolved to lose weight and quit smoking, and neither really worked out all that well for me. I still want to do those things this year, but I don’t really feel like a New Year’s resolution is going to help me at all.

I have a short attention span. When I become interested in something, I’ll invest obsessive hours in it before very suddenly losing interest because I’ve found some new obsession. For that reason, I’m going to continue to set monthly goals based on my 101 in 1001 list. A month seems like a reasonable amount of time to focus on any one thing, and I only have about a year and a half left to work on my list.

Here’s to 2011 being as good, or better than 2010!

January Goals:

• (Health & Fitness) Increase activity level using workout DVD’s at home
• (Self Image & Vanity) Wear makeup every day for one week
• (Creativity) Wrap up 2007-2009 scrapbook
• (Creativity) Do Month 1 of Project 365
• (Financial) Create new budget for while Colin is in school
• (Travel) Send a Travel Bug on a mission
• (Education) Read about a religion I’m not familiar with
• (Work & Business) Finish personalizing cubicle
• (Books & Other Media) Watch 3 movies from IMDB’s Top 250 (1/3) (Inception)
• (Romance & Family) Visit a new winery with Colin
• (Household Miscellany) Have Colin do his Designation of Patient Advocate
• (Thinking of Others) Leave 3 Operation Beautiful notes

This year was more high-inducing than most, as I was struggling to come up with meaningful gifts that weren’t going to cost me an arm and a leg. A few days ago I shared my homemade instant chai and biscotti gifts; so delicious, and perfect for sharing since you can make a gigantic batch for pretty cheap. On Christmas Eve I unveiled the rest of my creations…

This year seemed like a good year for home-made gift certificates. For Dad I made a certificate entitling him to a custom update to his website, which hasn’t been updated in at least three years (and even then, only to update my name post-wedding). I did a little bit of a mock-up design idea for the website, and used it as the background for the gift certificate. Dad was completely surprised and excited about it!

For Mom’s gift, I teamed up with my sister. We started with two gift cards, and specially designed gift card holders. I used clothing clip-art, printed on white card stock, with specially designed price tags. Instead of actual clothing boxes I used two of the boxes that our letterhead comes in at work (perfect size!), and pretty printed tissue paper. Our “new clothing” gifts were paired with a gift certificate for an afternoon of personal shopping with my sister and I, scheduled for the same day that we were planning on getting pedicures together before Elaine goes back to school.

For Elaine, I wanted to create some art for her living room. Thanks to my pretty new Nikon D3000 (early Christmas present from Colin), I was determined to capture some nature shots that I could use. After a very cold and snowy trek down the Lansing River Walk, and learning that my boots are not in fact water-proof, followed by a very cold and snowy visit to Potter Park Zoo, I finally had a number of pictures that I was happy with.

For the smaller pictures I just desaturated the images and adjusted the contrast levels to create four fun 5×7 black and white prints. For the 11×14 prints I desaturated everything except for the featured animal, so that the colors really pop. Now Elaine’s telling me that I have to come help her hang it all up. So demanding!

Finally, for each of my family members (including my mother-in-law), I created a personalized photo cube a la Martha Stewart. These were quite labor intensive, and I didn’t really get the hang of it until I had done two cubes. I was pretty happy with how they turned out though, and everyone seemed to love them!

Now I think it’s the perfect day for an early bed time, before launching myself into the last three work days of 2010. Have a happy Monday, everyone!